Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I know I haven't written in quite some time..I apologize. Scott and I are doing good. He is eager to get pregnant again, though I don't feel quite ready for that yet. Hopefully some day soon, though, we will try again. I think about my little girls every day. They mean the world to me. I've been browsing through other stories similar to mine, they are all so touching. It always takes me back to the days when I was pregnant..I'll never forget that feeling. January 29th would've been Chloe's second birthday. We had a small get-together with the family for her. And Scott and I went to their graveside and released balloons for both of them. Hope would be one in July. I can't help but wonder what all they'd be learning and doing if they were here, and how much different our lives would be, but I know they are in a wonderful place and they are grateful to us for the home we've given them in Heaven.
Leslie Harley was a great help to us during our pregnancy. She is with a group called Families for HoPE, trying to raise awareness for children with Holoprosencephaly, she too had a little boy named Sammy that was diagnosed early on, but lived a wonderful, though rather short, life with his parents. Even though this is so hard for us, I've noticed every one of us is grateful somehow for our children, and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. It's amazing how things like this can change your perspective. Anyhow, you can see more about Families for HoPE here: http://apps.facebook.com/causes/76457
And here's a wonderful poem I came across that really touched me...
WHAT MAKES A MOTHER
"What makes a Mother?" I wondered as I thought of you today. I closed my eyes, I prayed to God and I could hear him say...
"A Mother has a child, this you know is true."
I asked "God, can you be a mother...when your baby's not with you?"
"Yes, you can." He replied with confidence in his voice.
"I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, others for a day, some I send to feel your womb, but
with no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this! God I want my baby here!" He took a breath and
cleared his throat, then I saw a tear...
"I wish that I could show you, what your child is doing today. If only you could
see your child smile with all the other children and say"...
"We go to Earth to learn our lessons of love, life and fear.
My mommy loved me so much! I got to come straight here!
I feel so lucky to have a mom, who had so much love for me...
I learned my lesson quickly and then my mommy set me free!
I miss my mommy, oh so much but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep at night, on her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair, I kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear."
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I am here..."
"So you see my dear sweet one, your child is okay.
Your babies are here, in my home, and this is where they will stay.
They'll wait here with me until your lessons on Earth are through.
On the day you come home, they will be at the gates waiting for you."
"Now you see what makes a Mother, its the feeling in your heart.
It is the love you had so much of, right from the very start."