Thursday's The Big Day!

So, Scott and I got back from the doctor a little while ago. She said she wants to go ahead and induce me Thursday morning. I go in at 7, and they're wanting to do the fluid extraction at 9, then induce me afterwards. So please keep us in your prayers. We don't know what's going to happen now. We're just leaving it in God's hands. We are very nervous and scared and anxious all at the same time. I just pray our little Hope makes it here with us.

Update: Ruth and Scott are at OB doctor's office as I write. Baby's head is very large, so Ruth might be hospitalized today or tomorrow. We'll keep you posted. Thanks for all the prayers. Will try to post again later today. So thankful that God is with us and for us!

Big News!!!

So, I went to the high risk doctor today and got an ultrasound. Seems like Hope's coming even sooner than we expected! Her head is reading at 44 weeks, and they were very worried about me going another week. She's gained 2 pounds in a month! She now weighs about 6 1/2 pounds! We were shocked! They want me to go this week. I almost thought they were going to want me to go right then. They tried to call my normal doctor to see what she wanted to do, but she apparently had a sudden death in the family, and we're unable to get ahold of her right now, but she originally wanted me to go tomorrow. So, as soon as she gets back to us, we'll be having Hope! Probably Thursday or so...? Not really sure. But they definitely wanted me to go this week! We can't believe it. My mom and sister were so happy they went to this appointment. They said I was pale after hearing the news. It was a big shock at first. They also want to do a procedure where they would extract some fluid from her brain before I have her, so that natural birth would be easier. They're not sure if I'd be able to have her vaginally otherwise. We're not sure yet if we're going to allow this or not. Everyone please please pray for us and Hope. I've added my mom as an author to my blog so that her or my sister can update everyone while I'm in the hospital.

Goodnight, Ruth, Scott and "Hopey." See you in the morning. Love and prayers, Mom/Gamma

Doctor Update!

Well, I don't have much time, but I really wanted to let everyone know how it went at the doctor today. I am 2 cm dialated! I know, it's not much, but I am very happy my body's getting ready by itself and I don't have to go to the hospital a night early. We're supposed to be at the hospital at 5 in the morning on the 7th! I won't be sleeping that night. Only 11 more days! Words cannot explain how we are feeling right now. Everyone please keep praying for us as we get closer to this day. I go back to the doctor one more time next Thursday. And we of course go to the high risk doctor on Monday morning and I'll get an ultrasound then. Everyone pray Hope is in position by then, because she's not right now. We'll get an estimate on how much she'll weigh too. My guess is around 5 1/2 pounds.

Two More Weeks!

So today I find myself anxious, nervous, and all kinds of other mixed emotions. (just like every other day:) 2 weeks from today, we get to meet our little girl. Scott and I don't really know what to do or say to eachother anymore. I get more and more nervous the closer it gets. I've been trying to get hospital bags packed. I swear I've packed every single outfit I think will fit her when she's born! :) I'm so scared I'm going to forget something. I'm taking two diaper bags, plus my bag. Regardless of which way it goes, I'm still going to be dressing her in her cute little outfits and taking tons of pictures of her. I go to the doctor Thursday afternoon to get checked to see if I'm dialating any on my own. Hopefully I am or else I have to go to the hospital the night before the 7th just to get the process going. Then, Monday, Scott, me, my mom and my sister are all going to meet with the neonatologist again for our final appointment and to make our final decisions, which we still haven't made yet. We are totally torn with all the decisions that need to be made. I don't think we'll really know until the time comes. I keep trying to tell myself to just relax and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy, because I know in two weeks time, my life's going to be turned upside down no matter what happens. But I still find myself complaining because I'm so uncomfortable and anxious for the day to arrive. I can't wait to meet my little Hope.

I'd like for everyone to keep praying for Hailey's mommy, Rachelle, as she is going through some rough times right now. I'll make sure and update everyone Thursday after my appointment!

Praying For Hope Badge

I've had a couple of requests to make a button/badge that people can use to post on their website. So here it is! Just copy and paste the code on the right under the small picture like this one in your blog and there you go.

Hope's Coming Sooner Than We Expected!

Just wanted to give everyone an update on Hope. I went to the doctor today, and we've decided to get induced at 37 weeks. They were wanting to induce me early so that I won't have to have a c-section due to the size of her head. I assumed it would only be like 2 weeks early. Well, she wanted me to go at 36 weeks, but I told her I'd rather go a little later. So the new date is July 7th! So soon! Only 3 weeks until we meet our little angel! If I'm not dialating on my own in 2 weeks time, I'm going in on the evening of the 6th so they can start softening my cervix, but the official induction date is the 7th. I've asked my mom to keep everyone posted while we're in the hospital. Of course she will. We're asking for no visitors as of now. If all goes well, I told my mom I'd let her know when we're ready for people to come see her, but while it's all happening, we prefer it be just us. Those of you close to us though, I assure you my mom will be letting everyone know the progress. So everyone please please pray for us and Hope. This is definitely sooner than we expected, and we're just in shock now. I feel like I have so much left to do.

Also, I'd like for everyone to pray for little Hailey. She has holoprosencephaly and trisomy 13, and her mom's going to the hospital tonight to have her. You can see her page here: http://haileyshope.blogspot.com

"Holding On To Hope"

So, I am 32 weeks now. Hope is now 4 and 1/2 pounds! We didn't know if she'd ever get this big, but she's growing at a normal rate. Also, up until now, we've been seeing a pretty large growth on her face next to her nose. The doctors never could tell us what this was, or what caused it, but we don't have to worry about that anymore, b/c on today's ultrasound, it was gone! Yes, just gone! He couldn't really explain it, but it definitely wasn't there anymore, and her legs and arms are reading at almost 35 weeks! She's got her mommy's legs! I swear she hates these ultrasounds, every time we get one, she kicks the probe the whole time! The girl that was giving it to me couldn't believe it.
So today we spoke to our high risk doctor, genetic counselor, and a neonatologist. We thought we had our decisions made, but they gave us so much to think about. They were wanting to know what we wanted them to do for her, and we realized, we weren't quite sure yet. One thing we need to decide is if her heart rate starts dropping, do we want an emergency c-section. I hadn't thought of this, and am torn about what to do. They were explaining to us that if I did, I wouldn't be able to hold her, and I'd be really out of it, and probably wouldn't remember much of her delivery at all. Due to this, I'm pretty sure c-section is ruled out. I can't imagine missing her only moments alive, or not being able to hold her as soon as she's born. I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed and go to the NICU to see her if that were the case. Vaginal delivery is very important to me, but they're not sure if I'll be able to due to the size of her head. (it's reading 34 weeks) One suggestion was to get induced a little earlier, so that her head wouldn't be as big as it would be if I waited. I just pray everything works out as far as this goes, I would hate to miss the experience of a normal delivery.
Now to our biggest decision, do we want her put on life support if need be? This is where we're really torn. According to the neonatologist (NICU worker) if she's not already breathing on her own and they put her on breathing tubes, it would only be prolonging the inevitable. We'd either have to turn around and take her off of it, or she'd probably never be able to breathe on her own. He said usually the only reason they would put a baby on life support is if they think they can somehow change the outcome or help the baby by doing so, but in our case, he doesn't think it would help matters, however if that is our wishes, they would do so. He said he anticipates her being able to breathe on her own, then the only issue would be feeding, due to the clefting. He said they'd put her on a tube for the time-being, just until we could hopefully get her to take to a special feeding bottle. He said that usually if baby's lungs are formed properly, which hers are so far, they don't have problems breathing. So hopefully, feeding will be the only issue. But we have to make a decision as to whether to put her on life support if things don't go well. We thought we had already made this decision, but after all we heard today, we are torn. Scott said these appointments take so much out of him, and it's true. So here we are, approaching our due date, praying for wisdom to know what to do for her. I hope everyone will keep praying for us as we try to come to some decisions, pray for little Hope to keep doing good, and feel free to let me know how you feel about all this.